Are you sure this is what you called “friend” ?

What would you call as friend? Would your friend call you as “rubbish”, “useless”, “pig” ? I doubt about that, lately.

 

In Mahayana teaching about Bodhisattva, A person who wish to practice Bodhisattva’s way should perfect this six path: Giving, Taking precepts, Endurance, Hardworking, Mindfulness, Wisdom. According to the canon, all other religion practice the first five, except the last one, Wisdom which many unable to perfect in Mahayana Buddhism context.

I would like to explain in simple, from my understanding, in order to perfect “giving”, one should learn to give and not expect something in return, which practice something in sincere. Giving which even includes providing emotional support, help, counsel and not only restrict in material or financial. Taking percepts means we have to obey the rules and order that we suppose to follow. Endurance is to endure every hardship and evil that was being thrown to us; hardworking is to strive on with dilligence in things you do; mindfulness is to remain concentration and awareness—constantly aware regarding your words, action, speech and mentality. Wisdom, in Mahayana Buddhism context means intelligence which can brought you out of this word of suffering.

I would like to confess: I’m not perfect in any of the six of the above, although I can tell you roughly the idea is.

I remember when I was a kid, I used to fight with my classmates for a small quarrel. Until one day, I learn my lesson the hard way (as I always do) by broke my hand when I was fighting with my classmate. Till then, I understand the importance for me to endure: It is not what people had done to us, but is what we are going to respond on what people that had done to us that’s matter, as said by Lawrence Walter. I learn and still learning to endure the pain, suffereing, ill-treated, unfairness..etc just to name a few. Almost all the time, I thought I had succeed in doing so but untill lately, I understand that I had practice the wrong way.

I learn about anatta (no-self) in both Pali Canon and Mahayana Buddhism. I was taught by learning to endure, I’m on the right path to practice about “no-self” / selfless. Yes, I admid that I’m kind of selfish and I want to control on that. I understand that if I do not care on what people had done or said about me, I’m free from suffering. However, I was wrong.

I can choose to not care about what people had done to defame or ruin me, as I’m hardly hurt by that. For me, is just a matter of whether I want to take it hard or just to let it go. I’m naive to have such thinking. This is because there are still one X-factor that I was not aware about all this while: Someone that I truly love.

I can “not to care” about how people might said or think of me. I thought is the matter of my personal problem but however I was wrong. When people said or do bad onto me, people who care and loves for me feel the hurt, althought I merely just feel the pain. I wasn’t aware of that until today. I was thinking I had on the right way of “selfless”, but however when I consider the fact that I had forgotten those I had love, I’m still selfish: because I neglect how they feel when they saw me being bullied or defamed.

I ask myself: why should I let people who cares about me feel the hurt when those defamation was onto me? I promise myself: whoever cares about me, I will make sure they will never get hurt. However, today, I think I had failed to kept my such promise and I’m definately eligible to be classified as a failure: I failed to make sure they are free from hurt.

I start asking myself: Am I still practice the correct way? Why problems appear when I try to perfect my paramis? Would lending ears be a sin? I thought it was in the scriptures where we giving a helping hand it should be a merit? Why on earth when I try to listen and help other’s problem but I was drag into the hell of flames? I wonder.

Now I just recalled my master used to tell me which I had forgotten a long while: Everythings you do must be guided by panna (wisdom). Perhaps this is the mistakes that still keep me suffer. Maybe I’m still not intelligent enough to understand this concept, or is just my karma.

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I wonder why FWY want to chose to call me rubbish that “she do not want it”. Although she was trying to make funny jokes, however it was not funny when my lover was deeply hurt when she heard about it. I was deeply emotionally depressed. I was wondering why people who claim that a long time friend would call me as such, but my lover will and never use any rough words about me. So what is a 6 years friendship compare with 1 year relationship where “rubbish” is what I had been nurtured. Can you blame me for letting go a 6 years so called friendship? You can’t blame me.

I treasure my lover, and I promise not to let her hurt. I willing to fetch her from work when is late night and I willing to care her always and will only left when she lock her last door. I give her all my unconditioned love, and all my effort to ensure she is safe and feel my love always. However, I forgotten to realise that by letting myself hurt, I had hurt her. She may even feel the hurt much more than I had hurt myself.

I do not want to see her hurt. I have to stay strong enough so that I can protect her. Sorry FWY, I had to let go of you. Although I wouldn’t say that I had blacklisted you in my friend’s list, but I’m positive I wouldn’t call you anymore, or return your call. 6 years of even (if there is any) high quality friendship is nothing compare with a single day’s wife. Wife is someone that I will live with and companion forever, although you might claim a friend is still always a friend, no matter what. Sorry, in this case, I chose someone who never hurt me before, and will be with me forever, Is not that I was forced to or have to chose , but I make this decision solely from my own will.

If you are really my friend, would you call me a rubbish?

If you are really my friend, would you hurt someone I love the most?

If you are really my friend, will you understand what I feel?

If you are really my friend, can you feel my feelings in my shoes?

 

Let me explain the survival of microorganism. Different bacteria produces different antibiotics to kill others types of bacteria for it to survive, but remain resistant to antibiotic produced by itself. It is a survival mechanism, or else they will be vanished in no where. You might claim that you own all the best things in life; but it might be a poison for me. You might feel I’m toxic for you, but I might be treasure to others. Please, do not ever try to pull down others so that you are much higher better. You can’t win by doing so, is just a coward’s way of handling, and in the end no one is ever benefited.

Again, the reason I let go FWY, a 6 years friend is because I do not want my wife to be hurt. You will be doing the same if you are in my shoes. If you are my friend, you will not hurt my lover, moreover you are also a girl who is more sensitive to a girl’s feeling. That’s the bottom line.

 

Sign off 0253: 7-12-2008

An interesting article from The Star

“Malaysia belongs to all races, not just the Malays. The country is what it is today because of the contributions of all races and that is something we must acknowledge.” — Sultan Sharafuddin

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Source: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/12/2/nation/2690236&sec=nation

 

Tuesday December 2, 2008

Sultan: Don’t harp on trivial issues

By WONG CHUN WAI

The Sultan of Selangor Sultan Sharafuddin Idris Shah, known as a person who speaks his mind, gives his views on several current issues – from the changing political scenario after March 8 to the recent fatwa on yoga.

ON POLITICS, THE SOCIAL CONTRACT AND TOLERANCE

Your Royal Highness, since the March 8 elections, Malaysia has seen a lot of changes in the political landscape. Selangor, for example, is now under the Pakatan Rakyat while many national political figures come from the state. What is your general impression on politics?

As a rule, I do not get involved in politics. I am expected to remain neutral and above politics and I am very conscious of this. But I wish to say that the expectations of Malaysians have increased. They want their elected representatives to be more mature and to have more depth.

For example, I am disturbed that some of our politicians, regardless of their political parties, prefer to dwell on trivial issues. They are harping on issues that have no relevance to the country. With the global economic crisis, I would expect them to focus their energy and resources on how best they could help Malaysians face this financial uncertainty. But the issues that these politicians have brought up are disappointing. I am concerned with the manner some politicians exploit racial issues for their own agenda.

Malaysia belongs to all races, not just the Malays. The country is what it is today because of the contributions of all races and that is something we must acknowledge.

I am concerned with the quality of some politicians. I hope the leaders will put some thought into grooming and succession. This is like a race. The baton must be passed to the best runner to finish the race. We are talking about the future of our children. They deserve the best leaders.

Tuanku, at the recent Conference of Rulers meeting, a statement was issued defending the country’s social contract, stressing the need for Malays to be united and assuring non-Malays of their rights under the Federal Constitution. Was it at the initiative of Tuanku?

Yes, it was my initiative but it was made collectively following consultations with my brother Rulers. People need to understand that the social contract is a primary basis on the formation of Malaysia.

It has held the country together. The general principles have been accepted by all races. The country has been successful because of the spirit of give and take. Let’s not debate it because it is better for the rakyat to understand the history behind the social contract and know how Malaysia’s independence came into being.

The rights of the Malays are well protected, no one can just take away these rights and they cannot be amended without consent from the Conference of Rulers.

Malay unity is important. Any form of dispute – political or factional – is bad. As Rulers, we want to see the people, especially the country’s largest ethnic group, to be focused on more important things.

That was why after the last Rulers Conference, we came out with the statement that the non-Malays should not feel apprehensive over their rights. These are rights guaranteed under the federal and state Constitutions. We took great pains to ensure the statement was carefully worded, taking into account how sensitive this matter is.

ON YOGA AND FATWAS

Could Tuanku comment on the controversy surrounding the fatwa prohibiting Muslims from practising yoga?

State religious matters come under the jurisdiction of the Rulers. It is a state matter. In states with no Sultans, it is the King who decides. It is not the prerogative of the Mentri Besar or Chief Minister, let’s be clear.

In the case of a fatwa, there are many steps to be taken before it can be gazetted. The state Fatwa Council, chaired by the Datuk Mufti, has to deliberate on such matters. Anyone can make proposals but finally, it is the Ruler who has the final say.

Islam is a beautiful religion. It is a practical religion. It must be known for its values and compassion. It is not about punishments or banning this or that. This has unfortunately happened. Islam is not about force. Substance is more important, let’s not forget.

I noticed that in the case of the yoga issue, some people seemed eager to jump the gun by making announcements to show their authority when they have none. The result is confusion. Muslims and non-Muslims are confused.

An indepth and thorough study by the state Fatwa Council must be conducted before any decision is sent to me for approval.

ON APPOINTMENTS AND STATE AWARDS

Tuanku, recently there was controversy over the appointment of a non-Malay as acting general manager of the Selangor State Develop-ment Board (PKNS). What is your opinion?

I think it was a non-issue. The person has served in PKNS loyally and effectively for 30 years, so why should her promotion be questioned? If she’s not good, she would have been sacked a long time ago.

Her job as acting general manager, which is only temporary, is only to ensure the smooth running of daily operations. She cannot make any decision that runs contrary to the objectives of PKNS, as raised by some quarters. The Mentri Besar is still the PKNS chairman and also the board will decide on policy matters.

Moreover, she would just be an acting general manager while the state government looks for a chief executive officer as replacement. The PKNS must function effectively while the search is continuing for a suitable candidate. I don’t know why her appointment should be an issue.

Your Royal Highness, you have made it a point to limit the number of Datukships but the perception is that certain states have been over-generous in awarding these titles. Some feel that Datukships have lost their prestige.

I do not want to talk about other states. But as far as Selangor is concerned, there is a limit. It has been my practice to award fewer than 30 people Datukships even though the state limits it to 40. Only people who have contributed to the state or country deserve the title. It should not be given to any Tom, Dick or Harry. It should not be perceived that you can buy them. If that happens, or has happened, then those responsible must examine themselves.

This year, I have decided that only a few people would be awarded Datukship, two Dato Seri and one Dato Setia.

There would be no politicians, either from the past or present government. The present government is barely eight months old and it would need to prove itself first. Even a baby takes nine months to be born. We must give them enough time to show their work.

I am sure there are deserving cases in the present state government but let us wait first. Let them focus on their work, not awards or rewards. Titles should not come with positions.

As I said, I do not want to comment on the position of awards in other states but in Selangor, I wish to maintain its prestige and exclusiveness. It must be branded so people would value it and people would have high regard for the recipients.

BEHAVIOUR OF SELANGOR STATE ASSEMBLYMEN AT THE STATE ASSEMBLY

I understand that Tuanku has taken steps to check the behaviour and decorum of state assemblymen.

I have asked palace officials and even my brother to attend State Assembly meetings. I want them to report to me how these assemblymen, that means the state government and opposition, prepare themselves for these meetings. Do they know what they are talking about and have they done their homework? Are they taking part or just sitting quietly to observe the proceedings with no contribution.

This decision is not aimed at any particular party. It doesn’t matter if they are in Pakatan or Barisan. If they behave badly or ignore decorum, I will have a word with them. This is not political interference. I repeat not political interference. I just want them to know they represent Selangor, so they should be at their best.

ON CRIME AND POLICING IN SELANGOR

Tuanku, crime has continued to be a major concern in Selangor which has the highest crime rate in this country.

I continue to receive complaints from the rakyat on the ground situation. I read about crime in the newspapers and even at dinner conversations. People talk about it. It’s not just a Selangor problem but a national problem. In Selangor, we have the highest crime rate because the population is now the biggest in Malaysia. This is also a place which attracts outsiders and foreigners because of job opportunities. Social problems such as crime comes naturally unfortunately. It is expected.

I have been told that crime prevention has improved. The Selangor police are saying that this is their most successful period in the last 10 years with the state index showing a marginal increase. Gombak, Ampang, Shah Alam, Kuala Langat, Hulu Selangor and Sepang districts show decreases overall.

I am sure the police are trying their best but perceptions are important. If the public do not feel safe on the street or even at home, no amount of assurances would be good enough. Even the homes of police officers are burgled. That is bad. There should be more policemen on the streets. People feel safe when they see policemen on patrol. Traffic cops alone are not good enough.

What about the larger use of closed-circuit television (CCTV) in more parts of Selangor?

I am glad you asked that question. This has been bothering me for some time. I am in fact frustrated at the delay in implementing the CCTV project in Selangor. I had suggested this to the previous state government and now, we have a new state government. Nothing has happened, so excuses and more excuses.

The CCTV project has been successfully implemented in Subang but I do not understand what’s holding it back from being implemented statewide by the state government.

There is no point having the best roads or best homes if people don’t feel safe. In Britain, there are thousands and thousands of CCTVs being installed in strategic areas. I cannot understand this delay in Selangor.

Tuanku, what is your hope of the new state government which is now under Pakatan Rakyat?

There is much expectation and anticipation for sure. They were voted in by the rakyat. We have demonstrated that we believe in democracy and the new state government has been formed.

At the same time, we have to understand that the new government is also on a learning curve. However, Selangor is a developed state and the most important state in Malaysia, so the new government must understand the impatience of the people.

People expect them to know their job from day one. On that score, they must understand these demands.

For example, investors would not like it if there are delays in applications for projects. I also do not want them to complain to me that projects are being held up for no good reason.

What is your birthday wish?

It’s simple. I like to see the people of all races live together in harmony. We have been able to do that for the last 50 years and even before independence and I believe the ordinary people love peace. What they want in life is simple – to live happily, have a decent life and see their children have a future in Malaysia.

I share their aspirations and I hope the politicians would also understand the need for this. Let us all adopt a give and take approach. Let there be consensus.

There is a need for more common sense. I hope the politicians will take note of this. If you have a degree from Oxford or Cambridge, it does not mean you have common sense and I have to stress that common sense is important.

I also wish to see less friction or less emphasis on trivialities. We tend to focus on trivial issues which serve no purpose.

Some people are quick to make judgments or quick to react without understanding a matter thoroughly or studying it in-depth first.

 

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